A Sex Toy With Your Ill-Fitting Threads?

Courtesy of its scumbaguette CEO, American Apparel is now selling the Hitachi Magic Wand.

This is the wiggle stick in question:


What better way to accessorize underwear that an American Girl Doll would find ass-constrictive?! (I riddle you not, AA's panties lowered my sperm count just on sight alone.)

But seriously, I am most offended because now I have incentive to shop there.