American Appalling

While I was making a lunch -- aka Red Vines -- run today, I passed an American Apparel store that had two mannequins in a pose that could only be described as "retail-window doggie." It was THAT BAD.

Almost as bad as the stock, which featured, among other pieces of fabric not worthy of the label "clothing," this demure, chaste, I dare say subtle, offering:


Note: This warrants a trip to the proctologist after wear, as things tend to get, er, sucked into the abyss.

I especially am partial to the "action" shots found on the company's site, highlighting the item's broad functionality. Par example:

They're perfect when you're too drunk to make it to the bathroom!

Also:


Ideal for giving you that self-esteem boost when your friend's suffering from crippling scoliosis!

All that and more for the low low price of 26 bucks! A small price to pay for the worth we call Self.